Script Writing: Week 8
Kathleen Kennedy was a mentor during my time at Amblin. We worked together on “Alive” which was directed by her husband Frank Marshall.
“Whether it’s for a laugh or to learn something new, nearly 68 million Americans listen to podcasts on a monthly basis -- that’s nearly one in four people across the country. And who are these podcast listeners? For the most part, they tend to be millennials. In fact, of the 68 million listeners, 44 percent are between 18 and 34 years old. Not only that but they also tend to be people who hold a bachelor’s or graduate degree (57 percent). Not only are podcasts an easy and digestible media form, but it’s often easy to multitask while listening to them. Fifty-two percent of people listen to podcasts while driving, 46 percent while traveling and 40 percent while walking, running or riding a bike.” From https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/306174
One reason listeners’ have gotten so involved with podcasts is a technique called “Theater of the Mind”. It’s all about the acting, the script writing, and what’s left unsaid. In a podcast the listeners imagination isn’t limited to visuals or images – but rather extends far beyond to feelings, emotions and all other senses. All of these are important because they engage listeners. Podcasts require imagination – and imagination requires participation. And participation creates memory.
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn” (Benjamin Franklin, founding father of the United States). Understanding the ways the mind processes information can be a vital tool in helping to strengthen our wellness. Some people learn best by seeing (Visual), some by hearing (Auditory), some by reading and writing (Reading) and some by doing (Kinesthetic). Most people with behavioral health disorders learn best by doing.
Performing these scripts in a reader’s theater setting will allow members of the behavioral health community to take an even more active role in their education, allowing them to “act out” in a controlled, productive manner. Readers will be encouraged to be extroverted, funny, even outlandish, so long as it serves the purpose of making a reading entertaining and memorable to listeners. This could provide another nice break from dry group exercises, and grab the attention of community members past, present and future.
Ray’s Story
Sample Podcast
“The Nana Letters”
Characters: READER. Recorded on an iPhone by non professional talent. Music and sound effects added.
July 29th, 2014
(Big silence after reading the date. Then the reader sighs heavily, speaking slowly and in a distant, somber tone. Pauses in between each paragraph)
I’m sitting alone in your room, Nana. I look around, knowing you’ll never step foot in here ever again. The thought alone is enough to knock the wind right out of me. I just want to be numb, to retreat. I don’t want to experience this.
It’s not like I didn’t see it coming. You were old, you were sick. I remember when I got the call that you fell down.
It was a stroke, they said. And then pneumonia set in. I didn’t process much else after that.
(Another heavy sigh)
I remember that drive to the hospital, not knowing what to expect. So I was numb instead. I didn’t want to shut you out or ignore your struggle. My brain just couldn’t comprehend that I was about to lose you. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of your labored breathing. And all of the machines. Those damn machines, keeping you in a place you no longer wanted to be in. You wanted to go. You had been ready for years.
(Voice starts to tremble)
You had been there for me for my first day of life. The very least I could do was to be there for you on your last day of life. You gave me everything. You were my foundation, my rock. What am I supposed to do without you? I feel so lost.
August 3rd, 2014
(Big silence after reading the date. Then the reader sighs heavily, speaking slowly and in a distant, somber tone. Pauses in between each paragraph)
Here it is. The day of your funeral. Even now, things still don’t feel real. Even though I saw you, lying there.
Cold. Foreign. Gone.
(Voice starts trembling)
I’m still numb. I don’t know how long this feeling will last. I’ve cried. I’ve screamed. I’ve ranted. I’ve vented. I even prayed. But nothing will make this hurt go away. So I turned it off, stowed it away to deal with at a later time. However, I don’t know when that time will ever come. Maybe it will just disappear on its own...if I neglect it for long enough.
It was a beautiful service. I think you would have laughed at how somber we all were. You would have just shrugged it off, insisting there were better things to do and that we needed to push ahead. You were very much a “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of person. I loved that about you. But who can I turn to now? How can I move forward without you?
(Reader’s voice becomes clipped and angry)
Even though my heart feels lost and lonely, there’s also a lot of anger. “She’s only your grandma,” my aunt was saying, “You shouldn’t be this sad.” Did she forget you raised me? That you were like a parent to me? It’s not like she ever came to visit. It’s not like she cared enough about you to be there. But we were always together, you and I. You raised me. You took care of me. You were the one person that showed me unconditional love...and now that’s gone. Nothing feels safe anymore. Who am I supposed to turn to now?
(Voice tone returns to distant and somber, lots of spaces)
I took a flower from your casket. I hope you don’t mind. I stored it with the pearl necklace you gave me. I’ll always treasure it. Do you remember how you hated white roses? You always said that it looked like toilet paper. That made me laugh. I made sure to let the florist know we couldn’t have any white roses. We had beautiful pink and yellow ones instead - I know you loved those.
(Heavy sigh, trembling voice)
Goodbye, Nana. I don’t want to say it, but now I have to. I love you.
June 6th 2015
(Voice tone is excited, words coming out in a slight rush)
Well Nana, this is it. Today is the day I start on a new adventure. My husband and I are moving to Virginia! I know we talked about it a lot before you died, but the day is finally here. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel. I’m excited, nervous, and eager to see what this new adventure brings. I was just glad you made it long enough to see the wedding, to see me walk down the aisle. Do you remember Max, my dog? He’s coming along too! I’m a little bit nervous about that part - he hates car rides. And we will be in the car for three days, at least! I’ve never lived outside of Utah. What do you think the east coast will be like? Do you think I’ll like it?
(Reader slows down, sounds a little sad)
Leaving mom was terrible. She put on quite a show. I think she was serious this time when she said our relationship would never be the same. She’s threatened it for so long, but I think this finally pushed her over the edge. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t crushed by it. She seemed so distant. So cold. I know you wouldn’t have done that to me. You always loved and supported me no matter what. Why couldn’t she be more like you? I know she’s struggled ever since you died. She depended on you so much.
(Reader sounds resolved)
But I need to live my own life. To find my own adventure.
(Reader sounds tender, pensive, and loving)
I kept that flower and your pearls for the past year in a safe place. And now I wear them proudly as I leave with Mark and Max. Have you ever driven through this part of the mountains? They’re so beautiful, Nana! You would love how majestic they look. I’m sure going to miss them. I hear Virginia is so green and beautiful. I’m bringing your picture along, so I can show you too.
Not a day has gone by that I don’t think of you. I still carry you so close to my heart. The hurt has lessened a little bit, but everywhere I turn, I still see you. I still miss you.
I love you dearly, Nana.
December 27th, 2016
(Reader sounds distraught, like they have been crying)
I can’t do this anymore.
I don’t know how things turned out so bad. How I got to this point in my life where I don’t even want to live anymore. All I can think about is being with you again. And tonight I tried to be.
The pill bottle is still sitting on the counter, empty. Mark rushed me to the hospital, which surprised me. He isn’t the man we thought he was. Not at all. He changed so much. He’s angry and violent. I just wanted the pain to end.
I’m sitting here in the hospital room with Mark. I haven’t seen him this concerned. He tells me he loves me over and over again, that he doesn’t want me to die. I don’t know if I believe him, though. He’s very good at maintaining appearances. It makes me feel crazy, seeing him be one way in public and another at home. I’m worried about my dog, but not enough to make me want to stay.
I’m not as strong as you, Nana. Not at all. I don’t want to live anymore, not when I’m being assaulted at home and at work. I don’t think I told you about that one, Nana. No one knows. Nowhere feels safe. The crisis worker says I’m bipolar. The word ‘bipolar’ sits heavy, like lead, in my stomach. I don’t want to be like mom. Did you know she hasn’t spoken to me since we moved here?
I feel so alone.
Abandoned
Discarded.
(Reader sounds like they are choking on tears, verge of crying)
I feel like no one cares anymore. I can’t trust anyone.
What is happening to me?
July 21st, 2018
(Reader sounds dejected and defeated, slow speaking)
Well Nana, I’ve officially hit rock bottom. I didn’t think I’d ever get to this point...sitting in a psych ward. I’m terrified and I feel alone. Things are so bad at home. It’s so unsafe. And I just couldn’t take it anymore. Aaron and Justina, my two best friends, are the reason I’m here and I’m so angry at them. Why wouldn’t they just let me go through with it? I just don’t want to hurt anymore. Why is that so much to ask? I’m tired of feeling so volatile and raw. I’m like an exposed nerve.
This environment is terrifying. I’ve never been anywhere like this before… I don’t know what to do, Nana. I know I keep saying that. I’m just looking for a sign from you, from God...or something. I don’t even know what I believe anymore.
(Reader sounds angry, tone is clipped and biting)
I left the church, did you know that? I got tired of Mark using it against me. That led to a lot of issues with Mark - I wasn’t the wife he wanted, that’s for sure. He made that clear. I don’t even think he knows I’m in the psych ward. I doubt he would actually care. Sure, he would go through the motions of the concerned husband, showing everyone how worried he was.
But I knew the truth. No one would believe me though. They never do.
(Reader sighs, returns to dejected and defeated tone)
The doctors and nurses are throwing around so many labels, so many diagnoses. They said on top of the bipolar, there’s something called Borderline Personality Disorder. I don’t even know what that is. I don’t know if I even care anymore. It’s just labels. It’s just another thing to keep people away.
Just another wall.
I just want to be numb. But I’m in so much emotional pain, it’s turning physical. I just want the pain to go away and I want to be left alone. Why won’t anyone just listen and leave me alone? I know if you were here, you would know what to do.
Why did you have to leave me, Nana?
October 7th, 2018
(Reader sounds relieved, slightly breathy and speaking a little fast like they are riding an emotional high)
I did it. I finally left him.
I can’t believe how much it took to get to this point. And there are SO many emotions. Four hospitalizations, several phone calls to Dad and Mom, heart-to-heart sessions with Aaron and Justina...it’s just been a lot. Mark came to visit and gaslit me the entire time. Like he always does.
(Reader sounds sad)
And that’s when I knew...it was never going to get better. He was never going to change.
(Reader sighs, then quickly moves on, returning to the energetic tone)
I didn’t take much - just my clothes, my books, and my instruments. It’s all I have to my name. And you know what? That’s okay for now. I have no idea where this road is going to take me. A lot of mistakes were made - that’s for sure. And I’m scared...REALLY scared. I’m just not sure how to navigate divorce. This is a big, scary thing for me.
(Reader sounds sad, slight pausing in between sentences)
On one level, I feel like a failure. I tried so hard. For five years, I thought if I was better, he would change. Maybe he’d get nicer. But he never did. And I made some truly terrible choices and hurt a lot of people in the process. And for that I am so truly sorry. I don’t know if I can ever make amends with those people, but I’m doing what I can to make things right and to take responsibility. I know you probably know this, Nana, but that’s huge for me. I’ve spent so much time lying to myself and to others. I never let anyone know how bad things had gotten, but people seemed to know anyway. When I told my dad what was going on with Mark, he wasn’t very surprised. (Sarcastic laugh) He had half a mind to fly out and take me home, to get me away from the trauma.
Staying in the trauma center opened my eyes to a lot of things I had willfully ignored. I’m learning about boundaries now, Nana. That’s been huge for me. I also learned about codependency. These concepts are just so new and huge to me, but I’m doing my best to learn.
I hope I’m making you proud, Nana. I never want to let you down. Even though I can’t hear your voice anymore, I try to imagine what you’d say to me - you were always so good with advice.
I’m just going to keep taking a breath and take another step forward. That’s the only thing I know how to do.
June 6th, 2019
(Reader sounds excited, but slightly teary and emotional)
Nana, I’m coming home.
Can you believe it?! Just like when I moved to Virginia, I’m so excited and nervous to come back. I’ve missed everyone so much. And it wasn’t an easy decision to make. Virginia has been my home for four years. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. But when Blaire called and told me Dad had two heart attacks...I knew that was the sign I was looking for. It was time to come back to Utah, despite how at-home I felt here.
(Reader takes a deep breath, then slowly releases it)
It’s time.
(Pause, then returns to speaking slowly, sounding thoughtful and pensive, like they are remembering something)
The goodbyes have been so difficult. I love my students, I love my coworkers. I love the family I made here. I wish I could say I was leaving on the best of terms, but as I continue to navigate my mental illness, things have not been quite as perfect as I’d like. But I did my best and that’s all I can do.
All I can do is keep learning and keep growing.
I’m not sure what going back home will be like. I don’t even know who is still in Utah that I knew. I’m going to be starting my life all over again. New people, new situations, new job...all new. That’s very daunting but I’m so excited.
(Reader’s tone picks up, sounds excited)
Sydney is here with me, Nana! She flew out from Utah so she can drive back with me. I’m so excited - we have never taken a trip like this in our twenty-one years of friendship. This is going to be so good for our friendship. She’s more like a sister, but you already knew that. Do you remember when Sydney and I were younger and we would have sleepovers? And we would play cards until two in the morning, giggling like idiots and drinking copious amounts of Nesquik? (Reader laughs) I still remember what your face looked like when you came into the kitchen to tell us you were sending us to the nuthouse. We couldn’t stop laughing. When I think of Sydney, I think of good times. Maybe we can make more memories when I get settled.
(Reader’s tone returns to thoughtful)
I still think about you every day. I miss you so much, but I’m finally at a point where I can visit those memories and they don’t sting so much. I’m able to remember how your voice sounded without crying. It still hurts sometimes...but I’m able to tell people about you and remember everything so fondly. It makes me so happy. My biggest hope is that you’re still proud of me. I know my life took a lot of turns, turns neither of us expected, but I feel like things are finally getting better.
I just hope you’re still walking beside me.
I hope coming home feels like your embrace - warm and inviting.
(Pause, takes another deep breath and quickly releases it)
Well...here goes nothing. See you soon, Nana.
December 3rd, 2020
(Reader’s tone is calm and at peace, paced reading)
It’s been so long since I last wrote, Nana. SO much has changed. I’m continuing to grow and learn about myself. I’m reconnecting with so many wonderful people, like Brent and Hannah. I’m also meeting a lot of new people and making new, healthier connections.
(Reader sounds tender and loving, very happy and peaceful)
I found someone new, Nana, and I wish you were here to meet him. He’s so wonderful. We’ve been together for eighteen months...I didn’t know relationships could be this good. This secure. This safe. (Reader laughs) I still wonder how in the world I got so lucky. He’s been so supportive and has been through every high and every low with me. Mom and Dad even like him, which always helps!
(Reader’s tone turns more somber, but not sad)
I’ve been owning up to a lot of things. I finally admitted to my eating disorder. I even went to rehab. I’m still getting a lot of help for my Borderline too. I feel like a totally different person. (Pause) I wonder if you’d even recognize me now, Nana. I sometimes don’t even recognize myself, but in a good way. It’s almost surreal.
The world has changed a lot in the last six years, Nana. Knowing you, you’d make the best of it and would roll with the punches. You always did. You were so good at that. I remember when we found out Blaire had autism - you took over with such grace and took care of us so well. I know it made a big difference for Blaire and left a huge impact on me. As I take care of Blaire in your place, I hope I make the right decisions like you did.
Sometimes I imagine what you must be like in heaven. I bet you and grandpa are having so much fun being together again. I wish I could have met him.
I hope you continue dancing and laughing. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you always have been and will continue to be by my side. The thought brings me so much comfort.
(Pause)
I’ll continue living my life to the fullest, standing tall, knowing that I take after you in all the ways that matter. I’ll continue to make you proud.
I’ll talk to you later, Nana. Give Grandpa a big squeeze from me.
(Pause)
I’ll always be your bug. I love you.
“VEGA”
We hear the scratching of pen along paper. A little girl’s humming can be heard. She is YOUNG HEIDI.
HEIDI (N.)
I was twelve when I created… well…
A magical poor can be heard, along with YOUNG HEIDI’S gasp.
VEGA (N.)
You can say my name, Heidi.
HEIDI (N.)
Fine. World? Meet Vega.
VEGA (N.)
Also known as, the fun one.
HEIDI (N.)
Oh, really? Then why don’t you tell this story?
A shove can be heard.
VEGA (N.)
Will do! But,.. yes, I am Vega.
In the scene, we hear YOUNG HEIDI speak.
YOUNG HEIDI
Wow! A friend!
VEGA (N.)
Yeah.. she wasn’t very popular.
VEGA (I.S)
Yep, and the very best! Let’s go on an adventure!
The sounds of two feet can be heard running off.
VEGA (N.)
I’ve been a general…
The sounds of war can be heard.
VEGA (N.)
A vampire hunter…
Organ music can be heard along with a hissing noise, presumably of a vampire slain.
VEGA (N.)
And… sometimes… a distraction…
A male and female voice can be heard arguing…. Loudly. Young Heidi’s voice can be heard crying quietly.
VEGA (I.S)
Want to go on an adventure?
YOUNG HEIDI
Will this ever get better?
VEGA (I.S.)
Sure it will!
VEGA (N.)
Okay, I wasn’t lying. I did think it would get better. I truly thought it would. I didn’t expect Daddio to go running after some pretty face.
The sound of a car squealing out is heard.
VEGA (N.)
Okay… it wasn’t exactly like that. But it felt like it was. This is when the trouble started. She started talking to boys older than her…
VEGA (I.S)
Hey… is this safe?
YOUNG HEIDI
You’re gonna stop me?
VEGA (I.S)
Well… no… but… just be careful I guess….
VEGA (N.)
Yeah… I shouldn’t be a babysitter.
A new groovy soundtrack can be heard, along with coughing.
VEGA (I.S)
Whoa there… is that…?
YOUNG HEIDI
Pot? Yes. You have a problem?
VEGA (I.S)
Look, I let you get away with a lot. This seems a little grown up, don’t you think?
YOUNG HEIDI
Well it’s with Devin, and Mom isn’t stopping me.
VEGA (N.)
Yeah… Mom was checked out. And Devin was only trying to feel better. I mean, he was being a bad example, but he was trying to feel better.
A new gulping sound is apparent.
VEGA (I.S)
WHOA! Put that down.
YOUNG HEIDI
It’s just-
VEGA (I.S.)
It’s vodka. Mom’s vodka. She’ll kick your ass-
YOUNG HEIDI
What? Are you gonna tell?
VEGA (N.)
Yeah, she likes to rub that in my face a lot. But she did get caught, and that did put a stop to that, for then.
A birthday tune.
VEGA (N.)
Then… Mom let loose on Heidi’s eighteenth birthday.
MOM
Heidi… look, just keep it in the house, okay?
VEGA (I.S)
WHAT?? MOM!
(Now Adult) HEIDI
(ignoring Vega)
Thanks!
VEGA (N.)
Yeah, thanks Mom. Heidi was consistently high for three years straight. Three. That was… until Rose.
As soon as ROSE is mentioned, harp music appears.
VEGA (N.)
I mean… Heidi forgot about me. It was fine. I passed the time. My comedy career was nonexistent though.
Silence.
VEGA (N.)
What? No laughs? Fine..But… it felt nice. I wasn’t needed. She had Rose… and the cats.
A meow can be heard.
VEGA (N.)
Well… had.
A shattering noise.
VEGA (N.)
Two and a half years. An engagement. Down the drain. Heidi had already went to the mental hospital twice that year, and now this? I should’ve stayed by Heidi’s side more…
VEGA (I.S)
Uh… hey…
HEIDI
(audibly drunk)
What?
VEGA (I.S)
(concerned)
You doing okay?
HEIDI
What does it look like?
VEGA (I.S.)
Oookay. So that’s a no.
HEIDI
Why are you here?
VEGA (I.S)
I just wanted to help…
HEIDI
Yeah… sure. Help.
VEGA (I.S)
I mean… I know you’re hurting…. But there are other fish in the sea-- What are you doing?
HEIDI
(short)
Texting.
VEGA (I.S)
But why are you saying goodbye?... Heidi?... Look--- PUT THAT DOWN. You’re not thinking straight.
VEGA (N.)
I was always glad I was imaginary… until then. She’s done this before… but this time seemed final.
VEGA (I.S.)
HEIDI! Listen to me! This isn’t the end! Please!! HEIDI?
(guttural screaming)
HELP! PLEASE, SOMEBODY!
VEGA (N.)
(somber)
I tried to hit the walls… no sound. No one but Heidi could hear me… and she was already so far away.
But, we were saved.
A knock on the door is loud and commanding.
VEGA (N.)
I’m so fucking glad for cops.
Sirens are heard.
HEIDI (N.)
I’m glad they stopped me.
VEGA (N.)
But why didn’t you listen to me?
HEIDI
When you’re that far gone… you don’t hear.
VEGA (N.)
You fucking owe me. You scared me.
HEIDI (N.)
(a bit dejected)
I guess… I guess I didn’t realize.
VEGA (N.)
Heidi… I love you. I care about you, okay? So we have new rules. No drinking. No smoking. We are gonna get you out of this.
HEIDI
Thanks.
HEIDI & VEGA
I love you.
FIN
“Special Needs: When Normal is the Best Case Scenario”
Scene: Lydia’s apartment. Everything is mildly messy; there’s sticky notes all over the place reminding LYDIA to do basic things like “Clean”, “Laundry”, “Pay bills”, “Take meds”. As LYDIA writes a new series of sticky notes, she says the words out loud, “Keep small talk simple,” “Keep it light, keep it brief,” “Eye contact,” “Body language,” “Tone of voice,” “Smile.” She places them on the bathroom mirror.
As she applies her makeup, LYDIA faces the mirror and practices her social skills. She addresses her reflection as if she is addressing a person, but forgets to use eye contact.
LYDIA
“Hi, I’m Lydia. Nice to meet you. Where are you from? What do you do?”
LYDIA catches herself not making eye contact. She tries alters her stance and looks directly into her eyes in the mirror.
LYDIA
“Nice to meet you? Where are you from? The weather’s been nice, hasn’t it?”
LYDIA’s practicing her social skills is interrupted by a call from MCKAYLA, “We’re here.”
Scene: Car ride Scene opens with LYDIA walking out of apartment building. MCKAYLA’s car is parked directly next to curb. She opens the back passenger door and climbs in. LYDIA sits in the back with friend 2, MCKAYLA is in the front with FRIEND 1.
LYDIA
“Hey.”
MCKAYLA
“Hey! Sorry I’m late. Traffic is a bitch during Valentine’s Day.”
LYDIA
“Good thing it’s not too far.”
MCKAYLA
“I know, right?”
beat.
LYDIA reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of concert ear plugs. MCKAYLA sees them and acts perplexed.
MCKAYLA
“What are those things?”
LYDIA
“They’re concert plugs. They’re for my sensory-”
MCKAYLA
“Is this one of those autism things?”
Beat.
MCKAYLA
“We’ve talked about this. You can’t connect with other people if you can’t behave normally.”
LYDIA
“I’m supposed to lie about being autistic?”
Beat.
MCKAYLA
“No, you just be your best self.”
Beat.
LYDIA
“But I’m autistic.”
MCKAYLA
“You’re not your autism, Lydia. You don’t even act autistic.”
Beat.
LYDIA rolls her eyes and gives MCKAYLA a withering look. MCKAYLA is casually sipping iced coffee.
MCKAYLA
“Speed dating is about lighthearted, carefree fun. We don’t talk to people for very long, so we need to play up our best traits to keep them interested.”
LYDIA
“It seems… fake. I have a hard time connecting with people who aren’t genuine.”
MCKAYLA
“People find other ways to connect. There’s small talk.”
LYDIA
“But small talk is fake. I’m not allowed to talk about things that are important or interesting.”
MCKAYLA
“Of course you are.”
LYDIA
“We’re socially obligated to ask each other how we’re doing. If I take it literally and tell them how I’m actually doing, I look like a weirdo.”
MCKAYLA
“God, like, you are overthinking this. Just follow your instincts and relax.”
Scene: Parking lot. Their call pulls up to the parking lot of the bar. As they get out, LYDIA looks up, offscreen. A billboard looms over them with a smiling child on it. MCKAYLA reads the words.
MCKAYLA
“Autism is my super power!”
MCKAYLA playfully nudges LYDIA. LYDIA scowls at the billboard, then at MCKAYLA.
MCKAYLA
“See? It’s a sign.”
LYDIA
“Yeah, it’s billboard for a charity.”
Beat. MCKAYLA raises her eyebrow at LYDIA while sipping through a straw.
MCKAYLA
“I meant figuratively speaking.”
LYDIA
“Oh.”
Beat. LYDIA starts moving away from the car and toward the bar.
LYDIA
“I thought superpowers make life easier?”
Beat. LYDIA catches sight of a nearby back rack. A vintage high wheel bike, sitting among various street bikes, catches her eye. She motions for MCKAYLA to look at it. MCKAYLA chugs the last of her coffee and laughs at it.
LYDIA
“I could see you riding bitch on that thing.”
MCKAYLA
“Hell no. There’s video game logos on it. They’re probably your type.”
Scene: Bar. The scene cuts to the DOORMAN, who is addressing LYDIA and MCKAYLA.
DOORMAN
“Hey guys, we have a special here for Valentine’s Day: free speed dating with the purchase of a drink!”
MCKAYLA
“Awesome!”
When MCKAYLA looks over to LYDIA, LYDIA forces a smile. LYDIA then hands her license to the doorman. While he scans the IDs. MCKAYLA takes LYDIA by the arm and leads her through the entrance and towards the interior of the pub. It’s a crowded space; near the entrance is a table with gaudy Valentine’s Day decorations and carnations; a handwritten poster hanging from the front reads, “Speed dating here!”; behind the table is the enthusiastic EMPLOYEE in an apron and kitschy holiday garb.
EMPLOYEE
“Sign up for speed dating here! Make sure to get your name tags!”
LYDIA fills out her name on the sheet, then grabs a nametag. She uses one of the sharpies on the table to write her name. As MCKAYLA does the same, LYDIA looks around the crowded pub. She looks nervous. Once LYDIA and MCKAYLA put on their nametags, they walk over to the bar. LYDIA grabs a menu. MCKAYLA waves down the BARTENDER and hands over her card.
MCKAYLA
“I’d like a tab. And a bottle of Polygamy Porter, please.”
BARTENDER
“Sure thing.”
BARTENDER runs over to the register. MCKAYLA turns to LYDIA.
MCKAYLA
“What’re you having?”
LYDIA
“I haven’t had dinner. The quesadillas sound really good.”
MCKAYLA makes a face.
MCKAYLA
“You can’t walk around with a basket of quesadillas. No one comes to a pub for food.”
LYDIA flips over the menu and looks at the back.
LYDIA
“…the Bacardi and pineapple juice drink sounds good.”
MCKAYLA’s beer bottle arrives. Once she grabs it, she heads offscreen. BARTENDER looks expectantly at LYDIA. LYDIA gives him her order.
LYDIA
“The Fruit Bat, hold the cranberries.”
Scene: Speed dating. In order to establish how Lydia’s autism symptoms affect her, the audio from her perspective will be different than those showing the perspective of non-autistic people. From her perspective, the audio cuts every now and then to different sources of noise from around the pub: the clinking of glasses; the banter from patrons and pub staff; the fluorescent lights emitting a sharp buzzing noise; the speakers emitting music and a light humming noise; and sounds of shoes and furniture legs scraping against the floor. The activity in the room itself is not out of the ordinary, but the inconsequential details that most people are able to filter out are amplified to the point of distraction.
Scene opens to LYDIA sitting at a table. A drink is in front of her. MCKAYLA is two tables away; she gives LYDIA a wink while sipping her beer.
Cut to HOSTESS. HOSTESS wears a pair of wings, wreath flowers on her head; she holds a bell in one hand and a microphone in the other. She stands where all the patrons can see her.
HOSTESS
“Welcome, ladies, gents, and drinkers, and happy Valentine’s Day!”
Pub goers in varying degrees of inebriation cheer and holler back.
HOSTESS
“Let’s get to it: each date is 5 minutes. When you hear this bell,”
HOSTESS shakes the bell in demonstration,
HOSTESS
“That means it’s time to find a new partner. Good luck and don’t forget to tip your server!”
We hear a succession of indistinguishable interactions that LYDIA and MCKAYLA have with other bargoers. MCKAYLA appears eager, at ease, and in her element; LYDIA, although superficially friendly, is clearly uncomfortable.
LYDIA’s first date is NEGS, a man in dark, flamboyant clothing and a tall, furry; he speaks with a dramatic flourish. MCKAYLA is seated with DAN, a large, muscular man with in an oversized Tapout t-shirt and backwards baseball cap.
LYDIA
“That is a great outfit.”
NEGS
“Oh, have I tickled your fancy?”
LYDIA laughs, assuming he’s joking.
LYDIA
“That’s great! I wish I’d worn a costume. I love the irony in not taking all this so seriously.”
NEGS
“Oh, but m’lday, the game of love is a most serious business.”
LYDIA is perplexed.
LYDIA
“Wait, what?”
NEGS
“I am no common man. I need intellectual stimulation. I am looking for a companion that is capable of engaging in more than idle small talk. May I ask-”
NEGS proceeds to enunciate his words slowly and dramatically, spacing each word apart.
NEGS
“What. Is. Your. Sign?”
LYDIA has a look of dawning horror on her face.
LYDIA
“I don’t know.”
NEGS
“Come again?”
LYDIA
“I don’t practice astrology. I don’t know my sign.”
NEGS drops his act, looking put out. He holds up a finger, indicating that LYDIA wait for a response; he pulls out his phone then asks in a quiet, far less theatrical voice,
NEGS
“Okay, what’s your date of birth?”
LYDIA
“October seventh.”
NEGS looks at his phone. His lips move as he reads the information. NEGS then hastily places the phone back in his pocket, clears his throat, and re-adopts his dramatic act.
NEGS
“Libra, ruled by the planet Venus,”
His next words come out as a growl.
NEGS
“Ooh, daddy like a Libra.”
LYDIA looks sickened but, after a brief moment, forces herself to politely nod and force small talk.
LYDIA
“Right. Cool. Um… I saw a small dog today. The owner said it was called a pom-ski. Super cute and-”
LYDIA looks at MCKAYLA’s table. Her disappointment with NEGS changes to a look of concern at DAN’s boisterous behavior.
Cut to MCKAYLA’s table: DAN is laughing uncontrollably and MCKAYLA looks panicked and uncomfortable.
DAN
“-you know, like, I’m totally not a racist. My ex is Asian, but-”
MCKAYLA’s phone goes off. She pulls it out, it’s a call from LYDIA.
LYDIA
“Need help bailing?”
DAN sees her pulling the phone out and abruptly becomes angry.
DAN
“This is a great conversation. Why are you being rude?”
MCKAYLA
“My friend is here, too. She’s autistic. I think I need to go check in on her.”
DAN’S attitude abruptly changes to that of sympathy.
DAN
“Oh, that’s nice of you to help her out. Don’t mind me if your friend needs help.”
Cut to LYDIA’S table. The bell rings and NEGS gets up. MCKAYLA walks towards LYDIA’s table and makes to sit down in the newly vacant seat. DAN approaching their table. MCKAYLA freezes and puts the chair back.
MCKAYLA
“I’ll be right back, gotta go to the bathroom.”
MCKAYLA runs off. DAN sits down across from LYDIA, who is apprehensive. DAN comes across as overly friendly and speaks slowly to her as if he thinks she won’t be able to understand him.
DAN
“You are so, so brave. You must have the good kind of autism and be super-duper smart, huh?”
LYDIA stares at him in dumb shock.
DAN
“I never would have guessed there’s something wrong with you.”
DAN waits as if he expects a thank-you. LYDIA’s face changes to that of rage. DAN continues as if gently instructing a small child.
DAN
“Did you forget how manners work? See, I said a nice thing about you, so-”
LYDIA tosses her drink in his face.
DAN yelps and stands up, wiping it from his eyes.
HOSTESS sees the altercation from across the room; as LYDIA walks off, she abruptly drops her chipper demeanor and runs up to DAN, angrily shouting.
SCENE/Parking Lot. Cut to outside entrance of pub, the door of which is slammed as LYDIA runs out of it. Panicked LYDIA make a beeline for the parking lot, which is free of any people, except for JIM. She finds a curbside spot and sits down. LYDIA is hyperventilating, which slowly devolves into her crying; she hunches her face over her knees and places both shaking hands on her forehead, rocking back and forth.
JIM- a young man in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket, and sneakers- looks up from his phone and sees LYDIA in distress. JIM initially tries talking to her, not realizing that she doesn’t sense him nearby.
JIM
“Hey, are you okay?”
LYDIA is unresponsive and continues rocking and crying. JIM becomes increasingly concerned.
JIM
“Are you all right?”
LYDIA continues rocking. JIM kneels sits next to her and lightly touches her shoulder. LYDIA becomes startled and reels back, effectively stopping her rocking. JIM is startled and leans away, putting his hands up defensively.
JIM
“Sorry, I just thought you needed help.”
Beat as they are both quiet for a moment. LYDIA wipes her eyes with her hands. She crosses her arms and tries to make herself look small.
LYDIA
“I’m sorry.”
Beat.
LYDIA
“One of the guys in there was a jerk. Combined with the noise, it just got overwhelming.”
JIM
“What’d he do?”
LYDIA
“He… my friend told him about my autism. He wasn’t nice about it.”
JIM
“That’s not cool, sharing your secret.”
LYDIA
“It’s only a secret because everyone assumes it’s a bad thing.”
Beat.
JIM
“Yeah. I guess it’s hard like that. People assuming you’re a stereotype.”
Beat. Jim refers to the Autism charity billboard.
JIM
“I guess it’s expected when you’re a superhero, though.”
Beat. LYDIA tries to suppress a grin.
LYDIA
“I hate that billboard.”
JIM
“Makes sense. Batman would be pissed if a billboard advertised that he’s Bruce Wayne.”
Beat. NEGS walks out of the bar, holding an opulently decorated vape. He walks over to a bike rack and retrieves the high-wheeler bike. As he clumsily mounts it, he catches them staring. He gives LYDIA a wink and a nod.
NEGS
“M’lady, you have my Snap.”
EXIT NEGS. JIM raises his phone to snap a photo. LYDIA stares in disbelief.
LYDIA
“I’m actually Spiderman.”
JIM
“Oh?”
LYDIA
“My spidey senses told me he was a dork.”
Beat. Mood changes as they start easing up around each other.
JIM
“Not your type?”
Lydia responds in a deadpan tone.
LYDIA
“What woman doesn’t love a man that has the style and sex appeal of a zebrafish?”
JIM grins.
JIM
“I knew I should have consulted National Geographic before choosing this outfit.”
LYDIA
“What chance could you possibly stand? You’re only witty and handsome.”
JIM smiles sheepishly.
JIM
“I’m not sure, but knowing each other’s names might help.”
Beat. JIM extends his hand.
JIM
“I’m Jim.”
LYDIA
“Lydia.”
JIM
“I have a poor sense of fashion, but I’ve been told I’m good company.”
LYDIA
“Is that so?”
JIM
“Wanna go next door and grab some Mexican food to find out?”
JIM holds up his cell phone, then points to a restaurant that’s visible from the parking lot.
JIM
“I haven’t confirmed my order yet.”
LYDIA looks confused, as if unable to understand what he’s implying. When she doesn’t immediately respond, he gets nervous. JIM changes his manner of speaking, using a mock-advertiser’s voice.
JIM
“Act now and you can be the lucky winner of a free plate of quesadillas!”
LYDIA suddenly understands he’s trying to ask her out. She excitedly responds.
LYDIA
“YEAH! Can you show me the menu? I wanna see their sides before I order.”
Cut to MCKAYLA looking bored, gazing out the window at LYDIA and JIM. A concerned look on her face, she makes a call that LYDIA answers.
MCKAYLA
“Are you okay?”
LYDIA
“I found someone normal. We’re going to get Mexican food.”
End scene, cue credits.