House of Fun
First performed at New Roads RTC on July 29, 2022.
STAGE MANAGER: Celanie
CHARACTERS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
NARRATOR: Perry
TALA: Devin
DETECTIVE MARY: Lacy
KENNA: Izzy
THE GIRL: Chris
NATE: Mike
CJ: Eli
FRONT DESK WORKER: Dylan
INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OKLAHOMA- AROUND NOON
DETECTIVE MARY
TALA, I know that we have been doing this for a few months now. I am worried that this is hurting you more than helping you.
TALA
What do you mean? I have almost told you everything that I remember. Everything. I trust you. This is helping me because you will be able to arrest them and keep me safe. I won’t have to have a police escort anymore! Do you know how excited I am about that?!
DETECTIVE MARY
TALA, I know that you have told me so many things. You know that I hear you and take this very seriously. It’s just that there is not enough here for a case.
TALA
(TALA’S voice raising and tears gathering in her eyes)
What do you mean? I have told you everything. You told me that everything that I have told you is wrong and that it shouldn’t have happened. You said you were going to help me. I trusted you. How is there not enough for a case? I didn’t lie to you, I swear.
DETECTIVE MARY
TALA, I am sorry. It's just that you don’t have enough detail. We don’t know the dates. We don’t know the locations. You can’t give that to me and that is what makes a case, honey. You would be eaten up in court. We don’t want that for you. We don’t want to put you through that.
TALA
(crying)
What about the attack? Walmart must have footage? You found me there. You know it happened, right? Don’t you believe me?
DETECTIVE MARY
We are aware that your dad has a lot of power here. We are trying our best to get him. It's just Walmart didn’t have their cameras running that night, sweetie. They can’t find the footage. We can’t place him at the scene. He might have something to do with it but currently we can’t prove anything.
TALA
(TALA breathing heavily, crying)
This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t understand. May I excuse myself? I need a minute.
NARRATOR
TALA rushes out of the interview room. She is upset and frantically trying to find her keys. She gets in the elevator and goes to the first floor. The doors open and she sees all the beautiful light from the sun shining through the windows. She heads to the front door of the police station with the intent to never step foot in that police station ever again.
EXT. POLICE STATION - OKLAHOMA - A LITTLE AFTER NOON
NARRATOR
TALA runs to her car that is sitting out in the hot sun in front of the police station. She panics when she can’t get the key in the door to open it. Her hands are shaking and she can’t seem to line up the key. Finally, she gets the door unlocked. She gets in and slams the door. She sighs. She takes a moment to breathe. She sits in the heat of the car in silence. Sweat starts to bubble up on her arms.
TALA
(thinking to herself)
I can’t believe this. I will never be free. Never. Why did I put all my faith in them? Now who do I have? I am alone. I am...alone. I miss my family. I miss Kenna. I miss not being alone. I need to get out of here. I need to leave. Start over.
NARRATOR
TALA looks down at her phone and keys in her lap. She slowly grabs her phone. The phone is hot and her palms are sweaty. She swipes to unlock her phone. She goes to her contacts and finds KENNA’S name. TALA sits in silence and anticipation as the phone starts to call KENNA, her best friend.
KENNA
Hello…TALA? Is that you? Are you okay? What’s wrong?
What’s happening? Are you there?
TALA
(voice cracks)
Hey, Kenna. It’s Tala. Umm, I miss you. That’s why I called.
KENNA
Oh, umm I miss you too, Tal. What’s going on? Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a minute. Have you seen my messages or calls? I know something is wrong. Please, talk to me.
TALA
(clears her throat)
Oh, nothings wrong! I just have got super busy the last couple months with the move and losing my job and all. We should catch up soon. I also wanted to throw an idea out there. What would you think about you, me, Nate and CJ moving to China?
KENNA
Wait, did you say China?
TALA
Yeah, I was just thinking… We are all studying Mandarin. We love the culture. Why not go on a trip and immerse ourselves in the culture. It sounds super fun, right? And we will master being able to speak Mandarin. Win, win.
KENNA
It does sound fun! Umm, just a little random. But if you are going, I am in. I go where you go.
INT. BEIJING AIRPORT - CHINA - NIGHT
NARRATOR
CJ, NATE, TALA and KENNA are all waiting in line in the airport to go through security to get on the connecting flight to Harbin, the city they are moving to. They are all excited and nervous at the same time because Chinese airports are a lot different than American airports. The biggest difference, of course, is that the language is different and all the signs are in Chinese.
TALA
(to the group)
I feel like I haven’t seen you in days. I am glad we are finally together. KENNA, I need to tell you about the girl I was sitting next to when we get settled in. It was wild.
KENNA
Can’t wait! I have some stories for you, too.
NARRATOR
The line keeps inching forward. CJ was first in line, then Nate, then Kenna, and Tala was last. CJ, Nate, and Kenna all went through security without any problem. When they all turned around to find Tala, they noticed that she had been pulled aside by the airport security. They were making her pull out everything from her bag, very slowly.
TALA
(to the security worker)
What’s the problem, sir? I promise I didn’t bring anything bad into your country.
NARRATOR
The security starts yelling at Tala telling her to do various things. Tala didn’t know Mandarin well enough to make out anything that the man was saying. So when Tala would make the wrong movement, the man would yell louder and louder at her. Finally, at the bottom of her backpack, Tala, pulls out 3 - 4 packs of deodorant. As Tala pulled the deodorant out of her bag, the security guard got quiet. He looked at it and poked it as if he had never seen deodorant before.
TALA
Is this what you are worried about?! It’s just deodorant! I have this fear of running out of deodorant because of this one time when I was a kid….
NARRATOR
The security worker motioned for her to take them out of the packaging interrupting her life story.
TALA
(pretends to put it on her armpit)
It’s deodorant. It’ s not drugs. It’s deodorant.
NARRATOR
The worker takes one of her deodorant sticks and opens the top. He proceeds to fully crank the bottom of it until it was fully extended and the deodorant was fully exposed.
TALA
What are you doing?! It's deodorant!!!!!
NARRATOR
Tala stands there annoyed. She is completely over it. She shakes her head in disgust as the security worker smells the exposed deodorant then licks it. The worker proceeds to do this to all 12 of Tala’s sticks of deodorant. Finally, the worker let her through.
TALA
(to CJ, Nate, and Kenna)
What have I got myself into? Do they not use deodorant here? Let’s get on the plane. I bet we are late to boarding.
NARRATOR
They all rush toward their gate so they can make their connecting flight to Harbin. They make it to the ramp just in time for the last call.
INT. DOMESTIC FLIGHT TO HARBIN - NIGHT
NARRATOR
Just like the flight before, the four of them were not seated together. CJ, Nate and Kenna are all seated toward the back of the plane and Tala is in the third row from the front. Tala is the middle seat to the left. When Tala sat down in her seat, she let out a big sigh.
TALA
(thinking to herself)
Holy, shit. What did I get myself into? Why am I here? I think this is how I go. If we crash on this plane, I swear. God is going to hear a few choice words from me. Oh my god. That man licked my deodorant. He licked it. How gross is that?! I can’t believe I put them all in my carry on. At least, I will know for next time.
NARRATOR
People start piling into the plane. It is very crowded. After the last interaction with the girl on the plane, Tala is set on not talking to anyone. Tala decides to close her eyes and rest as chaos ensues around her. Tala opens her eyes as she feels someone fill the seat next to her.
TALA
(thinking to herself)
No freaking way. That is not a carryon. Am I sleeping? What the heck? This can’t be real.
NARRATOR
The man that filled the seat next to her had a crate of onions as his carryon. Skins from the onions kept sprinkling Tala’s lap. Before Tala could even start to comprehend what was happening in the seat next to her, another man sat in the seat on the other side of her. Tala looked over and couldn’t believe her eyes.
TALA
(thinking to herself)
I am definitely dreaming.
NARRATOR
The man that sat down had a duck. A live duck as a carryon. Tala closed her eyes hoping that it would all stop. She finally fell asleep. The next time Tala would open her eyes, she would be in Harbin.
INT. APARTMENT - CHINA - AROUND NOON
NARRATOR
Tala is nervously looking around the apartment for something to do to avoid talking with Kenna. Her roommate, Kenna, is in the kitchen boiling water so they will have enough for the outing that evening.
KENNA
You know that I care about you, right?
TALA
(TALA stops and looks at KENNA with nervous laughter)
Of course! That was random. What’s up?
KENNA
I just feel like you have been distant for the last few months. You moved out and started living with someone new. I only would see you once every two weeks. Then, out of the blue you wanted to move to China. I just care about you and want to know what is going on. I want to fix it. I want to carry this with you. Don’t feel pressure. Just know that I am here when you are ready to talk about it.
TALA
I know. I am sorry I have been distant. I haven’t done it on purpose. It has just been really hard for a while and I feel like I haven’t been able to think let alone spend time with the people I care about. I am sorry that I have affected you.
KENNA
(TALA and KENNA hug)
I love you and don’t forget that.
(TALA squeezes harder then KENNA who goes back to boiling water)
That is why I wanted to do the escape room with you and the guys tonight! It would feel like old times. We could have fun and maybe reconnect.
TALA
Where are we going again?
KENNA
House of Fun! It's the same place where we did that Taylor Swift themed room a couple months ago?
TALA
Oh, yeah! That was super easy!
KENNA
I think we should do the hardest room this time because that one was so easy. The guys are up for it. You?
TALA
Oh, yeah! Let’s do it!
EXT. HOUSE OF FUN - EVENING
NARRATOR
KENNA, TALA, CJ, and NATE stand outside of House of Fun greeting each other as if they haven’t seen each other in a while. Though they had breakfast that morning. Sounds of cars honking, people talking, and street vendors yelling make it hard to hear each other as they speak. NATE walks up with a bag full of cherries that he had just bought off the street.
NATE
(NATE offers the cherries to the group)
Man, I love living here. I ate so many cherries today. They are so cheap here! Want some?
TALA
Nate! Did you wash them before you started eating them? You could get sick!
NATE
I have been doing this for weeks and it hasn’t phased me.
TALA
Oh, man. You stress me out, dude.
(after a short pause, Tala sees something in the distance)
Oh, no! Is that guy doing what I think he is doing?
NARRATOR
The group turns around and looks where TALA is pointing.
CJ
Yep, he is definitely taking a shit. He is shitting on the street.
NARRATOR
TALA nervously looks at NATE eating his cherries.
KENNA
Anyway! Should we go in?
TALA, CJ, and NATE
(group all looks at KENNA)
YES!
NARRATOR
TALA, KENNA, CG, and NATE walk up to the doors of House of Fun and start to head in.
INT. HOUSE OF FUN - EVENING
NARRATOR
CJ, Nate, Kenna, and Tala walk in the front door of House of Fun. The door creaks as it shuts behind them.
KENNA
Nate, you should do the talking. I ordered breakfast this morning. It’s your turn.
NATE
(Shoves a handful of cherries into his mouth)
I can’t. My mouth is full.
CJ
(sighs)
Oh, come on!
FRONT DESK WORKER
Which room would you like?
CJ
We would like the hardest room you have. Last time it was way too easy.
NARRATOR
With a giggle the front desk worker escorted the group to the room.
KENNA
I bet we get this done within the hour. That last room wasn’t hard at all. Surely this can’t be too much worse. I am so glad this one isn’t Taylor Swift themed.
INT. ESCAPE ROOM - ROOM ONE - 6:30 p.m.
NARRATOR
Kenna, CJ, Nate and Tala walk into the escape room. The walls are entirely covered with pictures in frames. All the pictures are of people from the waist up. In the back corner there is a large mummy with a large staff.
KENNA
Okay, let's get started! I have bets in place that we will be done with this game in record time.
TALA
I wasn’t nervous until you said that, haha!
NATE
Are you sure you guys don’t want any cherries? I also have some lichi.
NARRATOR
CJ, TALA, and KENNA all start laughing.
CJ
I think we are good, dude. Don’t you ever stop eating??
NATE
Alright, I’ll remember that when you all get hungry. Besides, fruit is good for you!
NARRATOR
Nate finds a spot on the floor to sit down and continue eating his fruit. CJ notices something with the paintings and calls Tala and Kenna over.
CJ
Hey, guys! Do you notice that the paintings are all looking in the same direction??
NARRATOR
They all start following the painting's eyes to this one frame. CJ pulls the painting off the wall and there is a phrase written on the wall behind where the painting was. Kenna pulls out her phone and takes a photo so that we could keep it until we needed to use it.
KENNA
Got it!
NARRATOR
Under the phrase on the wall, there was a symbol. CJ, Kenna, and Tala start searching the room for the symbol. Nate wanders over to the mummy and starts looking at it.
NATE
This guy looks like he could use some fruit! Hey, aren’t you guys looking for this symbol?
NARRATOR
As the group started heading over to see what Nate found, Nate pulls the staff out of the mummy’s hand. There is a large crash
NARRATOR
When Nate pulled the staff out. The trap door under his feet gave way. Nate fell through the floor to the next room. CJ, Kenna, and Tala ran to see if Nate was okay.
KENNA
Nate! Are you okay? Are you hurt?
NATE
Dude, that was awesome! Shit! I squished my cherries!
NARRATOR
The group starts to laugh. CJ, Kenna, and Tala climb down the trap door using the staff as a support.
INT. ESCAPE ROOM - FINAL ROOM - 7:00 p.m.
NATE
Dude, that was crazy. Lesson learned. Don’t steal things from a mummy.
TALA
Where the heck are we? Is this a basement? I’m so confused.
KENNA
I have to admit this is a little weird but! We are doing well on time, so that is a plus!
NARRATOR
The room was filled with tiny fake gold coins all over the floor. On one side there is a little crawl space. On the opposite wall there were magnets all over the wall with different numbers.
CJ
I don’t think I can fit in that crawl space. I think one of you girls should try it.
NATE
No! I would be proud to take this one for the team.
CJ
Really, dude?
TALA
I’ll do it!
NARRATOR
Tala crawls through the small hole in the wall. She entered a small room. It was dark.
TALA
Ugh, guys. There is writing here on the wall. I can’t see it very well. Can I use someone’s flashlight?
KENNA
(handing Tala the flashlight)
Here you go!
TALA
(tries to make out what it says)
Thanks! Okay… Solve the puzzle? What puzzle? Is there a puzzle out there? Solve the puzzle quickly or… Guys! I don’t know what the last part of this is!
CJ
I think these gold coins have something to do with these magnets on the wall. They all correspond with a number. Does anyone see the number 1 coin? For some reason it wont let me put them on randomly. I bet we have to start at the beginning from 1 and so on!
TALA
Okay! While you do that, I will try to figure out what the rest of this says!
NATE
You guys are really killin’ it!
CJ
(Place brick to magnet on wall)
Found it!
TALA
Guys! Hurry! The wall is closing in on me! I think it will stop when you figure the puzzle out!
NARRATOR
We hear a loud screech as the wall closed in on Tala. Leaving her very little room to move. There were still hundreds of gold pieces to find. A COUPLE OF HOURS PASS.
TALA
How are you guys doing out there?
KENNA
I don’t think we are going to beat our time. BUT! This is a perfect time to bond. This is a great bonding experience. Right, guys?!
(Silence)
CJ
I need a break. How about some cherries, Nate?
NATE
Now you want some. Fine. It’s only because I love you. You, know. Like a brother.
CJ
I love you too dude. Now give me the cherries!
KENNA
So, I think we should go around the room and answer random questions. Just to lighten the mood. Tala is stuck in a wall in the basement of some random building. And we are sitting on hundreds of gold coins. We gotta do something to pass the time.
TALA
I agree. I am bored and quite uncomfortable. Do you guys mind not stopping solving the puzzle? I ugh… kinda want to get out of here. I have to pee.
KENNA
Sweet! I’ll start. What is your favorite candy bar?
CJ
Twix.
NATE
Three musketeers!
TALA
Take 5.
KENNA
Mine is Twix too.
NATE
I want to ask the next question. Just to clear the air. And she won’t kill me right now because she is in the wall. Tala?
TALA
Yeah?
NATE
Where did you disappear for the months leading to us coming here? Why did you want to come here? It was so random. And I am a random guy and I didn’t even see it coming.
KENNA
(sternly)
NATE! Not the time. Give her space.
TALA
Kenna, its okay. To be honest guys. I was assaulted at Walmart while loading my car by my dad in November. He left me there to die. Thankfully someone found me and called the ambulance. Since then the police have been involved and it has been rocky. I am sorry I have cut you guys out like that. I just didn’t want to burden you. I thought coming here could get me away and help me forget. I was hoping things could go back to normal.
NATE
I love you. No matter what happens in the future. You have me. And you don’t need to apologize. We are your family. Right?
CJ and KENNA
Yes!
KENNA
Forever.
NARRATOR
After a few deep breaths and a good snack the friends start finishing the puzzle to free Tala from the wall.
NATE
I found the last one! I am the greatest of all time!
NARRATOR
Nate places the last piece of the puzzle and the wall releases giving Tala the freedom to squeeze back out the crawl space. As Tala is crawling out of the crawl space, a wood tile is released falling to the floor with a loud crash. An exit sign lights the way. The front desk worker is waiting at the exit. She is wearing different clothes because it been OVER 20 HOURS since the group last saw her
TALA
(With a nervous laugh)
I am not….NOT going first this time.
NATE
(Hands TALA a cherry)
Hey, Tal. I appreciate you CHERRY much!
As a matter of fact, I love you all BERRY much!
THE END