PW08. Learning from Setbacks

Aug 11

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Welcome to Self Care: Session 08.

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Session Digital Version

Entering your name, email address and hitting “Submit” after you complete the session sends a digital file, including all your responses, to you within the hour. Having a record of your thoughts will increase your understanding and help you learn. As you progress through CRAFT Connect you will be able to measure that progress.

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1. Setbacks are a natural part of life and are an expected part of any change process. Every time we experience disappointment, we have the opportunity to learn something about our- selves. We can either be a victim of our challenges or a student of them. We become more emotionally resilient when we ask questions like, "What might this challenge be teaching me?" Resilience develops over time and gives us the capacity to not only cope with life’s challenges but be better prepared for the next situation.

Discuss: What have you learned from your own setbacks?

2. We can make it easier to avoid falling into old ways by identifying our triggers and learning better ways to respond to them. A triggering situation is something that causes an automatic reaction in our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. When our automatic reaction is inappropriate, we can learn better ways to respond. Triggers may include things we see, think, feel, and experience. Answering the following questions can help you think about situations which have been particularly difficult for you to stay with your new social and emotional wellness behaviors.

NEW BEHAVIORS ACTIVITY

Step 1: What mood or moods do I struggle with the most?

Step 2: What days of the week or times of day are hardest for me?

Step 3: Are there people who are difficult for me to be around?

Step 4: What situations or events are most difficult for me?

Discuss: What did you learn about your ‘triggers’ from this activity?

TRIGGER ACTIVITY

Step 1: Read the following three triggering situations examples. Step 2: Identify how that trigger might make you feel. Step 3: Fill out common responses Step 4: Identify possible healthier responses. Step 5: Share a real-life situation that triggered old behaviors. Write how you responded and sheathier responses.

TRIGGERING SITUATION: Going to a party where you don't know anyone

HOW DID I FEEL? Overwhelmed and judged Stressed by so many people around me Pressure to be someone they want me to be HOW DID I RESPOND? Hide in another room and isolate myself Avoid conversation Stay by the food Browse on my phone WHAT ARE HEALTHIER RESPONSES? Try a breathing exercise Practice healthy thinking patterns Focus on gratitude Be present

TRIGGERING SITUATION: Working with someone you don't get along with

How did I feel?

How did I respond?

What are healthier responses?

TRIGGERING SITUATION: Spending too much time alone.

How did I feel?

How did I respond?

What are healthier responses?

TRIGGERING SITUATION: Real-life

Triggering situation:

How did I feel?

How did I respond?

What are healthier responses?

Discuss: How can being prepared for setbacks help us respond more effectively?

3. Resilience can be applied to behaviors that help people to respond effectively to stressful challenging situations. Sometimes we assume that people who respond with resilience do not actually feel the stress of different situations. However, resilience is not about being insensitive or indifferent to stress, rather it helps people become flexible and bounce back from setbacks. You will become more resilient as you learn to employ new and different ways to cope. Move forward, however slowly, but move forward. Traditional concepts of social and emotional wellness and often impose limits on people. Health professionals have reduced expectations, while family members can be overly protective or pessimistic about what we can do or not do. Be willing to take action, make important decisions, and initiate the changes you would like to see in your life.

STRENGTHEN RESILIENCE ACTIVITY

4. Adopting the behaviors outlined below can be helpful in strengthening resilience. Practicing them every day can help turn them into habits that are part of a “life worth living”. As you review these behaviors write down your experience using them.

a). 10 minutes relaxing mindfulness activity. One of the fundamental resilient behaviors is being aware of yourself—your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Being mindful is also an important part of developing humility. The more aware you are of your reactions, the more you will be able to temper them into mindful responses. Be open to and curious about the changes in your life and look at them as opportunities for growth.

b). Set appropriate goals for what you can accomplish. Learn how to balance the many demands on your time. Regulate your emotions, energy levels, and spiritual and physical needs, and rearrange things when you get out of balance. Learn to focus on what you need to accomplish each day rather than worrying about what has happened in the past or what may happen in the future.

c). Take time to be grateful for your health, relationships, emotions and happiness. Appreciate the opportunity to grateful. It may help to make expressing gratitude part of your daily ritual, such as in a gratitude journal. During difficult situations, it may also help for you to create a list of things that you can control in your circumstances and things you cannot control.

d). 30 minutes exercise. You will become more resilient as you learn to employ new and different ways to cope. Maintaining a healthy diet and getting exercise can help you find relief. You may find that activities such as yoga, swimming, or biking will help you relax and think more clearly during challenging situations.

e). Learn to compromise. Pick your battles and learn to be flexible with things and situations. Do not always insist that things go your way. Keep your standards and boundaries but be willing to adjust your expectations and recognize when you’re fighting for a preference that is less important than keeping peace in your relationships.

f). Take steps to identify and develop your gifts. We need to see beyond problems to recognize and foster our abilities, interests and dreams. You have been given unique gifts and can use these gifts to help your family and others. Develop the attitude that you can accomplish hard tasks and have faith that you can apply your strengths to great benefit during challenging times.

g). Develop a regular pattern of giving and receiving help. One of the most important factors in responding with resilience is learning to turn to others. Stay close to those who can help you get through hard times. Do not be afraid to call upon family, friends, neighbors or co-worker to help you. Be willing to extend empathy and help to others when they are experiencing difficult times.

Discuss: Share with the group how you have used these and other behaviors to help you respond more effectively to the challenges of life.

Think: Take a few minutes to quietly think about what you learned in this session. Write your thoughts below.

What are the most important things I learned?

What will I do differently because of what I learned?

5. These are our commitments for this week. Next week we will start our meeting by reporting on them. This week i will:

• Work on preparing for future “relapses” into old behaviors by practicing responding to triggers in healthier ways. • Share what I am learning with my family, friends and community.

John Garbett

PW08. Learning from Setbacks

Session Digital Version

PW07. Strengthen Others

PW09. Spiritual