Trusted Advisors for Your New Journey
A mother’s journey with her daughter’s substance abuse and mental health disorders.
My family is learning to support a loved one in recovery. CRAFT Connect has helped me learn to say and embrace those words in a non-judgemental, accepting, and hopeful way. These blog posts are a way to share personal moments in that learning journey. But I hope that in reading them you hear an active learner and practitioner … and not an expert. Loving someone who is in recovery is a continual and continuing journey. It is filled with a wide range of moments, from very satisfying to times when I wish I could get a “do over”.
One thing that CRAFT Connect has made my husband and me aware of is the important role of trusted advisors in your journey. In the Enriching Your Own Life session, we spend time looking at our own social support. A simple questionnaire prompts us to identify five people that we can trust with sensitive information. Then, the questionnaire raises five key questions about levels of support, asking us to assess how effectively these individuals support us. Being honest with myself about the types of support I have was uncomfortable at first. But in that discomfort, I was able to better identify what I need. And then seek people able to provide that type of support.
When living with recovery, there is a sense of “before” and “after”. Before we were aware of our daughter’s mental health and addiction issues, we had a support system: long-time friends, family, parents and relatives, mentors, faith leaders, and professional advisors for things like finance, legal, and medical issues.
When we began to live with recovery, we found that, regardless of love and intention, we didn’t always have the types of support that we needed for this new journey. We began to cultivate a new part of our support system to help us navigate this journey. And to build trusted advisors who can help us better show up to help our daughter.
For us, this started with the people we met through CRAFT Connect. While these folks aren’t social friends, our relationships have grown into ones that we can text, “Do you have a little time? I really need some perspective.” It expanded to one particular therapist who “gets” us and our family dynamic, and has truly helped us grow.
After being introduced to safety plans through the behavioral health system, I downloaded the My3 app. This app prompted me to think through my plan of the three people I can call and simply say, “I’m stuck. I need some help.” I’ve told these three people about the app and that I consider them someone that I could call if I ever was so overwhelmed that basic tasks -- like laundry or going to the grocery store or facing the day -- seemed impossible. Even having the conversation expanded our mutual connection and understanding. And I have a greater sense of confidence knowing that there are people who I can really count on, regardless of what is happening to me.
Our journey has also made my husband and I available to serve as trusted advisors to others. Once people know that you have loved ones with behavioral or substance abuse issues, they tend to reach out, ask some leading questions.
We now live our recovery journey with a broader support system -- giving and receiving -- which helps in the ebbs and flows of learning new practices and skills.